Ink And Reason

Move over, printing press, aviation, electricity, internet, computer, quantum physics, chips, and smartphones, because the REAL game-changer of human history is… drumroll please…can you guess it? THE TOILET!  No seriously, where would civilizations be without the porcelain throne? Wars averted over bathroom breaks, empires built on efficient plumbing, and countless hours saved from digging latrines. Bow down to the true unsung hero of human advancement!

Forget the wheel, the light bulb, even sliced bread with butter and coffee (though let’s face it, that is pretty darn high on the list). There’s a true champion of human progress that often gets overlooked, relegated to the shadows, its contribution whispered with hushed reverence: the toilet.

That’s right, folks, the porcelain throne deserves a standing ovation! Let’s face it, where would empires be without efficient plumbing? Wars could have been averted over bathroom breaks alone. Imagine Julius Caesar strategizing on a rickety outhouse, or Marie Curie contemplating revolutionary theories while squatting over a ditch. No, thank you! Give me a heated seat, a self-cleaning feature, and maybe even a built-in bidet any day. Now THAT’S power!

The toilet’s impact on history stretches far and wide. Think of the sanitation nightmares of the pre-flush era, with poop being thrown, we’ll, out the window on the streets of Paris or London, the plagues and diseases running rampant. Then came our porcelain savior, bringing with it not just comfort, but hygiene and public health advancements that changed the course of civilization.

But let’s not forget the evolution of the throne itself. From the humble chamber pots of pharaohs to the high-tech wonders of today, the toilet has seen some serious upgrades. It’s gone from a basic necessity to a symbol of luxury, complete with heated seats, built-in music, and even fancy bidet attachments. Imagine Cleopatra applying her eyeliner by the glow of a heated toilet seat – talk about a queen who knew how to live!

Of course, the toilet also holds a special place in our individual lives. It’s a haven for deep thoughts (or deep breaths), a silent witness to some of our most…ahem…personal moments. It’s where you escape the hustle and bustle, where everyone is a king, where creativity strikes, where you rekindle, rethink, rearrange, re-do, rehears, replace, remake, restart, reassure, recover, remaster, re – whatever you do… Even Archimedes realized something great there. It’s where you get to see who you are, where you are the most vulnerable and the most honest to yourself. And where (let’s be honest) we spend a surprising amount of time scrolling through social media. I don’t know how flattered an influencer should be knowing that most people read or see their creations standing on a porcelain throne. Or should I say flatulent?

So the next time you throne upon your porcelain steed, take a moment to appreciate its significance. It’s more than just a place to, well, you know. It’s a symbol of progress, hygiene, and even a little bit of luxury. Raise a plunger (metaphorically, of course) to the toilet, the unsung hero of human advancement!

And hey, if you happen to clog the royal plumbing, at least you’re not wielding a plunger in battle against a barbarian horde. Now that’s progress!