Ink And Reason

The sweet escape, yes. I need a break from a lot of things, but then I think I would be in a constant vacation. Let me be frank, it’s not work, even though that takes a lot of my time. And patience. So, here are a few things I can take a break from.

Autocorrect – it’s useful, but sometimes I feel like having a judgmental grammar nazi in my phone. And not a very clever one either. And quite frankly, hipopotami sounds way classier.

Meetings that could have been e-mails – especially the ones where everyone sits around awkwardly staring at a Power Point presentation. Or those where someone explains what a smart ass he/she was figuring out a new way to sell some dumb stuff that was already obsolete a year ago. Or where you watch a forecast and a boss sais that people are not projecting enough. Because he thinks that if you crave for more, that more will become reality. Yeah, right.

My brain – it’s a constant sea of ideas, lists, and existential dread. Sometimes I should just switch it off and stare at a wall. Like when I’m in a meeting that should have been an e-mail. But unfortunately, I don’t always find an interesting enough wall.

People on constant diets – healthy habits are great, but can we all just agree to enjoy a slice of cake without existential dread, please? I prefer to enjoy a good cake with everybody instead of a poop alone, my grandpa used to say. It can be applied to a lot of things, also.

Parents who always talk about their kids – I have a kid, but talking only about him is like erasing everything I am. I hope these people used to be something before becoming parents. And yes, Simona, your David is a genius. He memorized the periodic table at 5 and can recite Shakespeare even if you wake him from his sleep. But unless David can cure cancer, solve world hunger or win the elections instead of Trump, can we tone down the bragging a notch? My dog can do a convincing impression of a brain surgeon (autocorrect made me write this 3 times, because sturgeon was way more dislexic for it), I just don’t go around announcing it to everyone.

Procrastinators: You know them, the ones who turn in projects at the last minute, fueled by sheer panic and questionable amounts of caffeine. While their “work under pressure” schtick might be impressive (to stupid bosses), watching them scramble is like witnessing a hamster on a wheel of anxiety. Please, for the love of deadlines, just plan ahead! And stop Netflix.