Ink And Reason

What is one question you hate to be asked? Explain.

Ah, the inquisition. It’s not just for witches and heretics anymore, it seems. It’s a mandatory part of any social gathering for those of us who haven’t yet succumbed to the “bliss” of wedded life and procreation. You know the questions:

1. “So, when are you getting married?”

This one used to make me want to quote Nietzsche and wax philosophical about the societal constructs of marriage while simultaneously searching for the nearest exit. Because honestly, what good does the answer do?

• If I say “Soon!” – You get smugly self-satisfied, like you just won a gold medal in matchmaking. Or maybe you will feel that more people share the same unhappiness with you?
• If I say “Never!” – Suddenly, I’m a rogue comet threatening the entire institution of marriage.
• If I say “I’m actually already married…and divorced.” – Awkward silence ensues, followed by a desperate attempt to change the subject to the weather (because apparently, discussing divorce is akin to summoning a swarm of locusts). Actually, I loved to play this one frequently.

2. “Are you planning on having kids?”

This question is a close second, with the potential for an even more explosive answer.

• If I say “Yes! We’re trying!” – Prepare for unsolicited advice on everything from birthing positions to the best organic baby wipes (because apparently, regular wipes spontaneously combust if they touch a child).
• If I say “No, thanks!” – Now you think I’m a selfish hedonist who’s depriving the world of my (clearly) superior genes. Something, God bless, you didn’t failed to do, because obviously, you both are geniuses and the world will feel so lonely without your genes.

Look, here’s the thing: These questions are like asking someone how much they weigh or how much money they make. It’s none of your business! Unless you’re planning to officiate the wedding or donate a kidney to the future child, keep your curiosity at bay.

Now, I’m not saying I’m immune to these questions anymore. Because guess what? I was married, I divorced, I keep a friendly relationship with the former and got well over that failure, I met someone amazing in the meantime (cue angelic choir), I didn’t got married again (no smug relatives this time!), and even had a kid (who, thankfully, doesn’t require organic wipes). But the golden rule still applies: I don’t ask those questions.

Why? Because life is a beautiful, messy, unpredictable journey. Maybe someone’s not ready for marriage. Maybe they’re struggling with fertility. Maybe they’d rather travel the world with a pet llama named Bartholomew (who wouldn’t?). The point is, it’s not your story to write.

So, the next time you feel the urge to inquire about someone’s marital or procreational plans, channel your inner zen master and resist. Instead, ask about their hobbies, their favorite travel destination, or their latest Netflix obsession. You might be surprised by the answer (and avoid the social equivalent of stepping on a landmine).

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with a screaming kid who, for some reason, finds endless joy in kicking the dog’s head with a wood toy. Wish me and the dog good luck.

If you enjoy my work, you can support me by buying me a coffee or one of my books. ☕📚